Finding Your New Normal – A Momminar (Guest Post by Erika Lloyd)

One of the hard parts of being a mom is taking “me” time and not feeling guilty about it. I struggled with this as I headed to “Finding Your New Normal – A Momminar”, a conference aimed at helping new moms adjust to life as a parent. My ten-month-old daughter’s sniffles and cough made it even more painful to leave home, but reminding myself that the event was aimed at making me a better mom (along with being seriously overdue a little time off from diaper duty) got me out the door.

The guilt faded as Mayra Figueroa-Clark, a Transition Life Coach, Licensed Social Worker, and Family Therapist, started talking about the importance of our jobs as mothers, the sacrifices we make and the power we hold, as what we teach our children will affect generations after them. She talked to us with the familiarity of an old friend, building our confidence and inspiring us to love our new lives as moms and feel good about what we’re doing every day.

Mayra had lots of helpful advice to offer, but the segment of the conference that struck me the most was her “2-2-2” strategy: Spend two minutes each day honoring yourself; Take two breaks a month to do something nice for yourself, whether it’s to treat yourself to a vanilla latte from Starbucks, have your brows waxed, or read a book by yourself; And twice a year plan a getaway, even if it’s just for a spa day with your significant other, although a weekend away is even better. I’ve already booked a hair appointment for myself as one of my two monthly breaks.

The momminar also covered the value of creating your own community—finding other moms or other women to interact with and communicate with and support each other is so crucial. I’ve found strength in many sleep-deprived, anxious moments by texting one of my mom friends to complain or ask for advice or reassurance. I couldn’t have gotten through the past ten months without their encouragement and understanding.

Mayra encouraged thinking about parenthood as entering a new season of life and realizing that as a parent, you’re also a new person, with a new normal. She emphasized the importance of being a present, progressive parent while also finding and creating the person you want to be in your new normal.

I have to admit that part of the magic of this momminar was having some time away from my amazing daughter (I’m trying really hard not to feel guilty for writing that). Sitting in a room full of mothers who understood the joys and pains of being a new parent was comforting in itself. We grieved about the things we missed most—sleep, date nights, spontaneity—and encouraged each other to take care of ourselves. At the end of the afternoon, Mayra reminded us that a parent’s most important role is to create beautiful people.

Ratliff Events hosted “Finding Your New Normal—A Momminar” and they plan to host another one at a future date.